You would think a heroine you create who has lived a few thousand years and has had generations of husbands and children would be easy to write sex scenes. You would think so… but, no.
I’m spending the month of September, in Writing Rehab, learning and working the 12 steps of Intimacy.
The problem is, I have a cynical view of 12 step programs dating back a few years when out of the blue I got several phone calls from friends with whom I’d lost touch. Too bad for me, they were all in addiction programs that required they contact people they had wronged. What a nightmare! Imagine late at night after a long day or a good day or a good date or in bed with a lover, you get a call.
“Hi, it’s Fanny Fruitcake, you may not remember me but I was really mean to you in high school / college / work and I made fun of you / stole your boyfriend / stole your wallet, etc…. Yeah, well, they say I have to admit it to you I was mean, I need to own it, and I’m supposed to say I’m sorry… I am supposed to do this or they won’t let me out of rehab…”
Stupid, naive, lonely me says: “Um, okay. Well, thank you, that is really nice, I’m sorry things haven’t worked out fo r you I hope it gets better… uh, do you want to meet for coffee or um, something?””
“This is not about you. I don’t give a shit what you think. [chose one: if he liked you he wouldn’t have gone with me, I’m not paying you back the money, I still think you’re ugly.] I’m calling you because I don’t care what you think, I’m not going to apologize to people I care about”
“Okay… well, shit! Thank you for ruining my night I guess you owe me another apology! This may not be about me but you you made it about me and I refuse your apology, so there.” [except, I wish I had said that, what I really said was more like: “Oh, well, good luck with that!”]
Yeah, just mention a 12 step program to me and I’m gonna hate you but still ready to don my doormat and bend over.
Lucky for me, this 12 Step Program is fun! Frustrating, humbling but fun.
Sex on The Page taught by Mary Buckham
UPDATE: I suck at this sex on the page shit! Sigh… thank god my husband says I don’t suck at sex in bed!
Determined to do it! on paper I mean! LOL
New UPDATE: I suck less at writing sex on the page, it’s getting easier, I am seeing the trees in the forest… I had a better analogy with little curly hairs but we are all better off not reading it!